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Dazzling Deeds: Good Behavior Jars

Monday, October 22, 2012 22 Comments

I have determined that indeed the two’s were not bad for us, but the three’s, well, let’s just say I may need a pay raise – HA!

I have resolved that positive reinforcement tends to work better in our house versus negotiating or threatening to take something away.

I have decided that V is a collector/hoarder of small objects.

I have concluded we need to “tame the toddler”.





A “dazzling deed” is something that is spectacular, I mean a super-duper spectacular behavior! And these jars are what is working for us!

Why

V loves little objects (not the best thing I might add for little T & his need to put EVERYTHING in his little mouth).  She gathers, collects, sorts, & groups her little objects (hmmm…the reason she loves sensory bins so much).

With that in mind, through much brainstorming I have come up with our “dazzling deeds” jars!

A “dazzling deed” is something that is spectacular, I mean a super-duper spectacular behavior!

A “dazzling deed” is something that is spectacular, I mean a super-duper spectacular behavior! And these jars are what is working for us!

How

We have 6 small jars (4oz.), all with different little trinkets in each, and we have a large jar (20oz.) that the trinkets will accumulate in.

When she does one of the things, listed on the small jars (without asking, or nagging, or threatening, or negotiating), she gets one of those trinkets to add to her large jar.

I also don’t want to keep giving her rewards everyday, which will lessen the significance of filling up the jars.  (I do believe in positive reinforcement, but I don’t want her to have too much positive reinforcement.  For one, the real world is not like that, I don’t want to start her off like that, with a false perception, being rewarded for every little thing she does).  I also decided to do little acknowledgements along the way to keep her interested.  You’ll see on my large jar, three color coded markers.  The first one says 1/4, when she reaches this point, 1/4 of the way up, she gets a piece of chocolate.  The second one says 1/2, when she reaches this point, 1/2 of the way up, she gets a frozen yogurt date with daddy.  The third one says 3/4, when she reaches this point, 3/4 of the way up, she gets to pick out a donut at the donut shop.  And when she reaches the top, she can pick out 5 books, from my stock pile of books for her (mama hoarding ;) – I have a little addiction to buying used kids’ books).

A “dazzling deed” is something that is spectacular, I mean a super-duper spectacular behavior! And these jars are what is working for us!

Rewards

I gave the mini rewards a lot of thought.  We are not much for sweets with the kiddos.  They rarely get sweets, or desserts, etc., so this would be an extra special treat for her (increasing the interest & importance of the jars).

So, because this mama has a small book addiction, it’s only natural that her little miss has one, too!  V would rather have a new book any day than a new toy!  I do realize that this will probably change (I hope not) as time goes on and she finds other interests, but right now, books are where it is at with us!  So, without a second thought, I determined that as the final reward (& 5 books at once – I can’t wait – I think I am more excited than her).  I can just visualize her glee in picking out those 5 books!!!

I made these jars with general concepts (to be able to apply to more people & they can cater them individually {verbally} to what works in their household), for example; “play nice”:

  • for us that means sharing our toys, no hitting, no snatching.
  • for you, it could apply equally as no hitting the dog, no hitting mom & dad, no hitting in general, sharing with a sibling, no biting, etc.

A “dazzling deed” is something that is spectacular, I mean a super-duper spectacular behavior! And these jars are what is working for us!

Specifics

mini jar 1: play nice (orange butterfly) – when V shares with T, with no snatching stuff from him, & no hitting him – {heart buttons}

mini jar 2: dazzling deed (blue cat) – something spectacular: kind gesture, kind word, or a kind behavior – {star button}

mini jar 3: finish meal (lime fish) – when V finishes her plate without us begging or negotiating – {plastic gems}

mini jar 4: no fuss (teal elephant) – when V goes down for naps & bedtime without fuss – {colored jingle bells}

mini jar 5: be polite (purple rabbit) – saying please, thank you, & excuse me – {glitter pom-pom}

mini jar 6: clean up (red snail) – cleaning up her toys or mess – {flower button}

These are all things that we struggle with on a daily basis in our house.  V gets a trinket to add to her jar if she does these things on her own.  The first couple of days I had to give her nudges & encouraging words leaning her towards making the right decisions and the rewards that would take place, but today, we are on day 4 and she is almost 1/4 of the way up (& she is beyond excited for that piece of chocolate ;)

Now keep in mind, all of this, from the meaning behind each set of words, to the rewards, are all catered individually to what works in your household.  Your child may not care the slightest bit about receiving 5 books as a final reward, so it needs to be adapted for your household & individual child in mind.

A “dazzling deed” is something that is spectacular, I mean a super-duper spectacular behavior! And these jars are what is working for us!

Printables

Oh, and last but not least – I made ya a free printable…eek!  I {love} making printables!  They make my heart go pitter patter! :)

I made the ones that we are using along with a second page of ones that may also work for your family – ENJOY!

I also designed these jars with learning in mind.  Learning colors & animals (i.e. the colorful labels with animals :)

(note, when printing to fit labels, select Size Options: “fit” & “choose paper source by PDF page size”…see pic here for a visual)

Materials

  • 6 mini 4oz. jars
  • 1 larger 20oz. jar
  • star, heart, & flower buttons
  • glitter pom-poms
  • colored jingle bells
  • plastic gems
  • jar labels
  • color coded marker labels

Well, that’s it (I think!)  Let me know if I left something out :)

What kind of things do you do in your house for positive reinforcement?  I would love to hear your “taming the toddler” strategy!

INSPIRE OTHERS BY SHARING!!



MAINPIN

 

A “dazzling deed” is something that is spectacular, I mean a super-duper spectacular behavior! And these jars are what is working for us!

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Comments

  1. Jen says

    Sunday, February 9, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    Thanks for these ideas M! I wanted to find something to supplement our chore chart, and i think this is it! Very excited to try it out.

    Reply
    • Melissa Klinker says

      Monday, May 12, 2014 at 2:22 pm

      YAY!! Let me know how it works Jen – miss you!! xx

      Reply
  2. Nadia says

    Monday, November 25, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Thanks so much for suggesting that I read this post Melissa! I really think this could work for my 3year old! I’ll give it a try;)

    Reply
    • Melissa Klinker says

      Sunday, December 1, 2013 at 2:06 am

      YAY! Good to hear Nadia :)

      Reply
  3. Christy says

    Tuesday, February 12, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    Love this Idea. I have a 4year old(soon to be 5), 20 month old and an 8 year old with adhd. We have tried marble jars and they get bored with it. I think this is a wonderful idea. Helps kids learn and more :) thanks for the great ideas I am going to try them!

    Reply
    • mama♥miss says

      Sunday, March 10, 2013 at 9:12 pm

      Yay – I’m so glad Christy! It worked wonders for us :) Would love to hear how it worked – keep me updated :) Thanks again for checking them out & for taking the time to comment! xx ♥ m

      Reply
  4. Carolyn @ Pleasantest Thing says

    Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

    As always, your printables are adorable!!

    Reply
    • mamamissblog says

      Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 12:06 pm

      awww thanks Carolyn…hmmm I might just have to include a printable in my “Moms Celebrating Moms” post if you let me ;)

      xx ♥ m

      Reply
  5. Robyn says

    Saturday, October 27, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    I love this & plan to make some for Seth & eventually for Ella. The printables are adorable!

    Reply
    • mamamissblog says

      Monday, October 29, 2012 at 4:38 pm

      Thanks Robyn!!! I think they will love them…V is still going strong, & still very interested in filling the jar up :)
      Thanks for your sweet comments & for stopping by.

      xx ♥ m

      Reply
  6. Ticia says

    Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 8:27 am

    It’s such a cute idea. I did something similar to this when I was teaching.

    Reply
    • mamamissblog says

      Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 12:26 pm

      Thanks Ticia – so glad you liked them! Thanks for stopping by too & for taking the time to comment :)

      xx ♥ m

      Reply
  7. Maree says

    Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 5:08 am

    Please notify me of posts.

    Reply
    • mamamissblog says

      Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

      Just added you to the subscription list Maree :) Thanks for following along!

      xx ♥ m

      Reply
  8. Kate says

    Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 3:54 am

    Thank you. I love this idea and shared it with my audience at Laughing Kids Learn.

    Reply
    • mamamissblog says

      Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 12:24 pm

      Thanks Kate! I had a bunch of new followers this morning sent from you – I appreciate it & the comment & sharing love!

      xx ♥ m

      Reply
  9. Momma's Fun World says

    Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    I love this, we didn’t have terrible 2’s or 3’s but man the 4’s wow.

    Reply
    • mamamissblog says

      Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 12:21 pm

      oh no…I hope it stops at 3 for us – yikes! Thanks Catherine for the comment love & for sharing on FB too :)

      xx ♥ m

      Reply
  10. Amy @ Counting My Kisses says

    Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    I LOVE this post & I can’t thank you enough! We are STRUGGLING with our 3-year-old right now~ the sticker chart isn’t quite enough for her, and we’re really trying to stick to the positive reinforcement {totally easier said than done}. I adore all of your ideas & I know they will appeal to our girly-girl 3-year-old as well! Hoping to report back in a few weeks with good news~ thanks again for sharing these ideas {and for the fab printable!} :)

    Reply
    • mamamissblog says

      Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 12:20 pm

      YAY! So glad it can help someone else :) Yeah, we tried the sticker thing too & it just wasn’t cutting it. What helped too, I let V have a hand in picking the trinkets out at the store. And, yes, definitely report back, I’m very excited to see if it works as well for you too – can’t wait to hear! Good luck & thanks for stopping by too :)

      xx ♥ m

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Are These Character Education Mistakes Sabotaging Your Family? - A Fine Parent says:
    Monday, January 26, 2015 at 7:02 am

    […] heard of people using marble jars or other kinds of little trinket jars – some people even use quarters or pennies. A sticker chart would work too. Whatever you have on […]

    Reply
  2. 14 Things to Do with Kids TODAY says:
    Saturday, March 30, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    […] Good Behavior Jars – Keep kids working toward good behavior with these ADORABLE good behavior jars – what an amazing idea! […]

    Reply

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